As regular readers of this column will know the managing director and I don’t
mind a bit of travel, preferably of the comfortable variety. As such I write this
month’s missive from the Matild Palace hotel in Budapest, as one does. The
hotel is every bit as pleasant as the name suggests and I find myself
ensconced in the breakfast room, looking out over a winter wonderland of
historic buildings and snow.
I should be happy, but I’m not. In fact, I suspect this will be our last such
journey with future adventures confined to our native land and perhaps the
occasional foray to the Land of the Long White Cloud. On a positive note, our
experience has shone a very bright light on the positives of travelling at home
or across the ditch.
Where to start?
The MD had wanted to do a European river cruise for some time, so we booked
the classic Amsterdam to Budapest route and added a few weeks after to
explore places we hadn’t been before. Christmas in Europe seemed a good
idea, not least to escape the heat and humidity at home. Our flights with
Emirates were ok, if you set aside being stuck on a taxi way for an hour waiting
to leave Dubai or finding another aircraft parked in your bay upon arrival in
Amsterdam, leading to another hour watching the seatbelt signs and praying
the toilet would become available. While on the subject of airlines, beware the
quality differences. Emirates flew a newly refurbished aircraft out of Brisbane
but a very tired one out of Dubai on the connecting flight. All of this turned out
to be an omen of what was to come.
Amsterdam is a very interesting city with much charm and history. It is also a
city of smokers who seem quite happy to dump their cigarette butts on the
ground. We forget how much smoking has become socially unacceptable in
Oz, not so in The Netherlands it seems. The city feels safe enough albeit I
wouldn’t go out at night around the main railway and dock area unless you are
interested in the less appealing aspects of failed immigration policies.
Even before we boarded our floating home for the next two weeks signs of
things to come emerged. We would not be meeting the ship at the main
downtown port as planned, but instead in a rather unattractive industrial dock
area. Upon entering our cabin, we discovered that the tour company have an
incredibly gifted marketing photographer. You could swing a cat I guess but the
poor feline would definitely end up with concussion.
Within a few days the softening up process commenced. River levels were
falling and we would need to speed up and bypass some of the main onshore
attractions. The lock system is dependent on water levels we are told and we
don’t want to get stuck. As it turned out it didn’t matter. While moored at the
lovely medieval town of Passau we were informed that a lock had broken and
our journey via boat had come to an end. We would remain onboard until the
end of the tour and then be bused to Budapest. So much for the historic tour
of Nuremberg or New Year’s Eve in Vienna.
The bus ride turned out to be some 8 hours inside a mobile virus incubator.
Within 24 hours of our arrival in Budapest the MD had been flattened by a very
nasty bug and I soon followed suit. Of course, being a bloke, I was far crooker
as I’m sure you will appreciate. With deteriorating health and doctors’ orders
not to fly we reluctantly cancelled the last three weeks of our journey and have
made the Matild home for the time being.
So far, we’ve learnt some lessons we maybe should have already known.
Overall airline reputations don’t necessarily guarantee you will be riding in a
nice new plane. Tour companies should know of possible impending dramas
but just seem to assume that guests will take major problems in their stride.
My suspicion is that the company did know that water levels were falling
before we embarked and that the trip would be impacted. They chose to keep
our money and go anyway.
And here’s the big one.
Travel insurance companies seem ill-prepared to assist customers in medical
crisis. Our previous provider failed that test spectacularly a few years back, so
we moved to another insurer. They answer the phone at least but that’s about
all. They seem very keen to explain the claims process but unable to manage
even basic medical support. The lady we spoke to was pleasant enough but
admitted she was unfamiliar with Hungary and that the company had no one
on deck who was. This is a major travel insurer! The hotel staff did a way
better job so if you are going to Budapest stay at the Matild. Even if you are
crook, it’s still a wonderful experience with lovely people to look after you.
As you can imagine this whole experience isn’t cheap and given the debacle
it has turned into one might ask………. what the hell, why not holiday at
home?
Let’s start with convenience. With the exception of the wonderful Margaret
River region, most appealing domestic locations are less than a four-hour
plane ride from pretty much anywhere on the east coast. No international
transfers, no passport controls and limited opportunity for loss of luggage.
Hell, even Queenstown is only 3 hours away and the Kiwi attitude to the
arrivals process is pretty relaxed. Dodging the need to sit in a 14-hour
recycled germ factory also has its merits of course.
Travel is expensive and the further you go the higher the bill. The problem is
that unlike Australia many countries feel no need to have transparent pricing.
In Hungary for example prices are displayed as what one might describe as
retail. This means the 27% VAT and 15% automatic service charge are added
on only when the bill hits your table. That’s an extra 42% on top of the price
displayed. Incredibly there is also an expectation that the poor hapless punter
will provide a tip on top of this. For hotels in many countries the tariff is quoted
before city taxes, green compliance levies, water surcharges and anything
else the local authorities can dream up. Many hotels also have horrible
cancellation policies which pretty much guarantee you’ve done your dough
regardless of how much notice you give. Add in a weak $AUD and the holiday
at home bang for buck argument makes even more sense.
Here’s the thing though. We are not getting any younger (the MD says she is,
but I await proof) and health considerations must now form part of our travel
planning. Becoming ill a long way from home in a country whose health
system you don’t understand and with no practical travel insurer support is no
fun. The financial and emotional impact of cancelling a long-planned trip of a
lifetime while being marooned in a foreign land is significant. Is it worth it? As
of now the answer is a resounding No.
Next time…. Tassie here we come.
Postscript:
I reserve the right to go skiing and I promise not to complain if things go
sideways.
Mike Phipps F Fin
Director | Phippsfin Pty Ltd
No AI or ChatGPT has been used in the writing of this article